We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog to bring this important announcement:

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. —Anais Nin

My Tree

There is a tree in my front yard that, like many people, places and things, has come to have much more significance than could have been anticipated. I want to take a picture for you, and have been intending to do so, but it has barely crept above 0 Fahrenheit these past few days and that has stopped me. I go out, but only under duress (e.g., when The Beast is flipping out, when I am out of coffee, when it's time for The Body Pump class).

Soon I will show you my tree.

In the meantime, I will explain that this Mountain Ash shades most of the yard. That's wonderful for playing, picnicking, and the like, but not so good for gardening. It also has five large branches that shoot out from the trunk and then turn upward...perfect for hanging a tire swing.

Our house sits at a angle on our 1/2 acre lot with this tree shading the portion with the largest area of south facing exposure. In Minnesota southern exposure is critical for growing sun-loving annuals, which describes most vegetables.

So, we find ourselves thinking of cutting down the tree in order to produce more truly locally grown food. Lest you think we are cruel, unfeeling tree cutter downers, I must point out that it is not the healthiest tree you've met. The center portion was lost in a storm shortly before we moved in ten years ago. Parts of it have sun scald that is destroying the bark. With ash borer in Michigan and headed this way, the life expectancy of this tree is not good. But...it's not bad either, according to our arborist.

And the kids love it. Just because it is a tree, but also because of the tire swing. And because they are leery of change.

This year we opted to trim. The result is a craggy, eery appearance which makes me love it completely and never want to bring it down. But next spring when our tomatoes and herbs limp along, I will probably change my mind.

On the Blogging

This whole blogging everyday thing isn't going so well (i.e., I'm not doing it). Shop Guy got me started on The Artists Way by Julia Cameron and she advocates writing "morning pages" every day. Three of them. Long hand. I suspect that would be even worse. It's supposed to unblock your inner artist, but what if it TOTALLY STRESSES YOU OUT? Not that I'm stressed out or anything.

It wouldn't matter too much if I had posted these last few days because all I had to report was eating pizza and gingerbread. So...I'll skip ahead to today.

Breakfast (out of milk and coffee, damn it!): PNB on whole grain toast, an apple, gingerbread (okay...chocolate chip gingerbread if you must know...but, really, it is Advent)

Lunch: Vegetables with a bit of cheese and a vegan sausage (I love me some vegan sausage...the best is at French Meadow)

More later, dudes.

Sunday

I've always been moody on Sundays. Today it is about 34 degrees and raining. Grey, grey skies. Bleh.

For breakfast I had shredded wheat, apples, and two pieces of low-cal bread with Brummel and Brown and all-fruit.

The Chocolate

Dudes! (That means all of you...it's just one of my things. Little Brother says it too.) I saw some chocolate bars yesterday that cost more than $20. In fact, I saw all kinds of chocolate yesterday at the Old Arizona chocolate and tea lounge in South Minneapolis. 26th and Nicollet. Darcy, the Spiritual Guide/Youth work wizard/chocolatier/former Hollywood makeup artist who runs the place gave me a bar of Dagoba New Moon...74% cocoa. Wonderful. Totally worth it. But probably not every day during the weight loss challenge. We'll see. I don't drink any alcohol so maybe a daily does of chocolate antioxidants (what the hell are "free radicals" anyway...besides Bill Ayers, I mean?) will do me good.

Breakfast today was two small slices of cinnamon raisin toast, Vive cereal (which contains brocolli...more on that tomorrow), and some grapes and raspberries. And of course coffee and water.

No More Turning Away

Sometimes I just need a visceral reminder of what really matters.

Happened yesterday as I was trying to squeeze my car between two SUVs at "the mall," actually the fourth mall I'd been to looking for a particular toy amidst the holiday shopping madness. It often comes in the form of a song on the radio. Here's the one from yesterday...haven't heard it in at least a decade.



So far today I've had a huge bowl of flax flakes cereal, milk, a banana and two slices low-cal bread with Brummel and Brown and All-Fruit. A creature of habit?

I'm Just Like Oprah

I'm often struck by the ways in which I am just like Oprah:

• I'm a strong, independent, confident woman (really...all three of those things...I'm totally serious...you really should believe me...please)
• I run my own communications company
• I read

And now I am just like her in that I'm embarking on a very public taking-better-care-of-myself campaign. It's uncanny.

But I have to say that the whole "Oprah weighs 200 pounds and is embarrassed" thing really bugs me. You know, John Travolta never apologizes for being fat. Neither does Dan Akroyd. I guess Al Roker kind of did...but NOT REALLY. So I say just do what you need to do, Oprah, but don't think you owe it to anyone but yourself. (See, again I'm like her...giving great motivation, feel-good advice).

So, in perhaps total irony, so far today I have eaten:

Shredded wheat with 1/2 apple and 1 tbsp golden raisins
Two slices low-fat (40 calorie bread) with Brummel and Brown and all-fruit
A banana
A vegetarian "chicken" patty sandwich on that bread with lettuce and catsup
Coffee and water

Shop Guy asked if I didn't post yesterday because I have a "new system." Stickler for details, that one.

If you know me and my blogs, you know that I make a lot of vows that last only a short while. But hey, it's my blog. And my life. But, of course, I've made promises. So here, a day late and a dollar short, is my food list from yesterday. Beyond that I had no blog-worthy thoughts.

Oatmeal with cream (because we didn't have any milk...not good for the weight loss goals)
Coffee with cream (see above)
A giant "Kamikazee" pancake from Egg and I (multigrain with bananas, blueberries and pecans) topped with syrup and plain yogurt (totally worth it)
A bowl of popcorn with cooking spray and salt
1/2 pnb sandwich
Leftover rice and beans with vegan sausage
1 and 1/2 WW ice cream bars (The Girl didn't finish hers)

That's all for now. Am considering some profound insights to post later today.

TTFN.

Wild and Precious

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? —Mary Oliver, "The Summer Day"

Uh...Facebook and Blog?

Seriously. What the hell am I doing?

Anyway...enough navel gazing! Today my breakfast was 1 cup of oatmeal with cinnamon, five almonds, a handful of yellow raisins and a little milk. Plus: two slices of whole wheat bread with Brummel and Brown and Polaner All-Fruit for elevenses.

Lunch was leftover rice and beans with bonus spinach. And something else, I think, but I can't remember right now.

And of course always coffee and water.

Now think on this wild and precious life, people. And go do something delicious today.

Boringest Blog Ever

In anticipation of this becoming the Boringest Blog Ever, I have decided to jump right into the whole tracking what I eat thing. It all comes from stepping on the scale. This morning. For the first time in weeks. (Months?) Now, I have been participating for exactly two weeks in a very awesome weight-lifting class known as Body Pump. I can already notice the difference in how I feel and how my legs and arms look. I've also been running...five miles yesterday on the treadmill...and feeling decent about it. My belly, however, sticks out kinda far. I also noticed this weekend that even my roomy pants (a 2008 size 12 which means we don't even want to think about what they would have been in my soccer Glory Days) felt a bit snug.

So. The scale. Seems I've packed on a few. It must have been that cupcake yesterday.

The net balance is that I plan to lose six pounds before the start of my lose 10% or lose $500 bucks term. Yes, as my brother and Shop Guy have already explained, losing any now makes little sense in the gambling sense, but they have not accounted for the momentum that occurs when one starts to get really in shape.

And without further ado, here is my breakfast tally:

1 and 1/2 cup Kashi cereal (12 grams of fiber, people! is that safe?)
1 cup milk
3/4 frozen blueberries
coffee and water

See you at lunch time!

By the way...updates posted in the comments.

For Your Reading Displeasure

Since agreeing to the whole weight loss or $500 venture, a number of people have asked me about my plan for losing the weight. That of course made me laugh, because the "lose the pounds or lose the dollars" arrangement is "the plan," people. And if I do say so myself it's a whole lot better than suffering the pitying looks of the Weight Watchers Ladies every week and having to hear about how yummy cottage cheese is in Progresso Soup.

I will acknowledge, however, that some different course of action from the one I am on now (i.e., The Expansion Project) might be in order. It has therefore been decided by the Powers that Be (in this case, me), that I shall post a record of everything I eat here on this blog each and every day for 100 days.

You read that right. From January 1 through April 10, 2009 I will use this lovely little blog as my food diary. That is probably, I realize, the worst use ever for a blog, but you know what, it's my blog! So there you have it.

I'll post photos too. And I'll write other stuff. Cuz I know you'd miss the other stuff.

Change Is Gonna Do You Good

I'm in the mood for change (e.g., the aforementioned weight-loss challenge). Today I bought two light boxes, one for SAD (the state of being depressed in the winter because it's so damn dark and cold and you live in Minnesota) and one for treating skin issues (e.g., being older than 23).

There are differences between these two appliances along the lines of red lights and blues lights and UVA/DVD/IRS and so on and so forth. The important thing, however, is that that they will make me happier and more beautiful. Seriously, the Internet told me that...so it must be true.

I will let you know. Eventually. When I remember that I told you I would tell you.

I also plan to have The Boy spend time in front of the SAD light every day. He's a moody child, that one.

Biggest Loser Facebook

Thanks to The Facebook (long story), I just wagered $500 that I will lose 10 percent of my body weight between January 1 and April 10, 2009. This isn't like one of my bets with Shop Guy where I just pretend to give him the money. It's real. I don't even know all of the guys in on it. Yeah, it's all guys. So far anyway. And some of them live thousands of miles away. But they know where I live so they know how to collect.

But first things first: How much do I lose before January 1 in order to be comfortable weighing myself in front of them (in front of them in a Facebook sort of way, that is)?